What's going on with you? Wait, me first.

I am not a huge fan of my Twitter account. From the beginning, it bothered me that the people pushing it on me kept referring to it as "a faster Facebook status update". And the Facebook status update is a more far-reaching version of the AIM away message. I mean, at least the classic away message was only seen by the people who had your screenname and, usually, checked because someone wanted to see what you were up to. Now? Your status/profile updates are seen by the outer reaches of your real/cyber social network. Thus, I have to scan through (seemingly) pages of unwanted, TMI, no-one-cares-but-you life updates before I find anything remotely useful (like, she's fucking engaged?!) or interesting (aka not this fucking 25 random things about you fucking tagging mania going on).

So the onset of Twitter, while making it easier for me to get New York Times updates (they update their Twitter far more than e-mail, probably all part of the massive effort to prove to its audience that, yes, the New York Times can adapt to the times), also means I am further subject to texting of monumentous events like "Rumble in my tumble," "walking around" or several re-wordings of "It's such a nice day today!" Really?? I wouldn't have known unless you told me!

Now, this isn't the network, it's the people. And it's my problem too, because I'm aware I can cancel my accounts with Twitter and Facebook (which is frustratingly difficult, by the way). But why, in the past couple of years, have we become obsessed with connectivity and develop this into a 24/7 addictive habit? Before you say, because of technology, think for a minute. Just because we can, doesn't mean we have to (obvious example: we have nukes, we don't go bombing everyone to establish world domination). I'm sorry, no one needs to know that you decided to have pancakes before class, realized you had no eggs, then convinced yourself it was too fattening and had yogurt instead. That is an absurdly unnecessary piece of information. Remember the time when you didn't know every minute-by-minute update on your Facebook account? Yeah, then you got an iPhone.

Which brings me to Lemony Snicket, one of my favorite people in this town. He spends a good chunk of time online, researching information at his leisure, but, with the exception of an active Facebook account, dislikes and avoids online social networking. He considers a phone with more than 12 key buttons blasphemy and rarely checks his e-mail more than once a day. We discussed the connectivity epidemic some time ago and I'm pretty certain he characterized social web probers as losers who failed to navigate the real world, but are still obsessed with their own opinions and themselves. And what a perfect outlet of self indulgence the web makes...

I'm not saying swappers (social web probers? whatever) are losers, but I do agree it's an incredibly self-important habit (which, by its very existence, Twitter endorses) to post multiple day-in-the-life updates. From another angle, the level of information exchange is unbelievable, which creates the balance between real & web life that allows people who still have their feet planted in the real to peek into the internetwork (like me). It makes me wonder if swapping reflects an obsession with ourselves or with other people. And moreover, it looks like constant connectivity will be an eventual necessity, so what happens when a culture preoccupied with appearances clashes with this user-friendly network that wants to know everything, all the time?

I'm not phrasing it clearly, I know. I, like you, have been suckered into new media social networking, however much to my own displeasure, in order to remain relevant. I guess, this whole thing started because I just really did not expect pregnancy to ever be Twittered (here's looking at you, Erykah Badu).